Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) Movie Review

First, let me start off by saying that I've recently gotten into Dungeons & Dragons, and I love this movie. I saw it in theaters two weeks before its release (at a special screening for Amazon users), and I thought it was awesome. I even watched it a second and third time (second on Paramount+ and third on Amazon Prime). If you're a hardcore DND fan, this movie is for you.

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) is a fantasy/adventure epic blockbuster with action, comedy and elements of a heist movie. It's based on the famous role-playing board game "Dungeons & Dragons" by Hasbro and Wizards of the Coast. It stars Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez and Hugh Grant in the leading roles. It also features Justice Smith, Daisy Head, Chloe Coleman, Sophia Lillis and Rege-Jean Page in supporting roles.

It follows our protagonist Edgin Darvis (Chris Pine), a bard and former leader of an organization called the Harpers. After his wife was murdered, Edgin raises his daughter Kira (Chloe Coleman) along with his barbarian friend Holga (Michelle Rodriquez). Edgin commits thievery and sets out on a quest to find a lost and ancient relic called the "Tablet of Reawakening", to bring her back with the help from Holga and the rest of the crew. Things go horribly wrong, and Edgin and Holga end up in prison. They then break out of prison and bring the Harpers back together and set to retrieve the tablet, and also save the land of Neverwinter from a great evil.

We have a set of different supporting characters, each with their own backstory. Holga, who I mentioned earlier, is Edgin's friend and acts as a mother figure to Edgin's daughter Kira. Holga's backstory is that she was exiled from the Elk tribe of barbarians, because she married an outsider. Xenk Yendar (Rege-Jean Page) is a Paladin, who escaped from the evil Thayans' rise to power, but at the cost that he ages slower than an average human being. Simon Aumar (Justice Smith) is a half-elf sorcerer, who is a descendant of the noble wizard Elminster Aumar. Part of the plot is focused on Simon learning to attune to a magic helmet to help his crew. Doric (Sophia Lillis) is a druid who can shapeshift into many different creatures and uses her abilities to help the other crew members during sticky situations.

Then we have our main villains. There's Forge Fitzwilliam (Hugh Grant), a con man who was part of Edgin's band of Harpers, who betrays the others for riches and power. Forge appears to be charming, but his charm is really a facade. Forge is very greedy, self-centered, narcissistic, power hungry and rather manipulative. He promised Edgin to look after Kira, but only does so for his own benefit, and even manipulates her into believing that her father is greedy. Then there's Sofina (Daisy Head), a red wizard of Thay, whom Forge is in cahoots with. She previously tagged along with the Harpers, in which Forge insisted Edgin upon letting her join, only for her to show her true colors.

Sofina uses Forge's greed and false charm as part of her ritual to conquer Neverwinter. She gives him the idea to bring back the High Sun Games, a dangerous sporting event that had been long discontinued. Forge promises the people a surprise at the end of the event, but unbeknownst to them, the surprise is that they'll be killed as part of Thayan ritual. Forge initially has more influence on the plot, as the main conflict involves Edgin and the others setting out to heist their way into his lair to rescue Kira and reclaim the tablet, as well as saving the people of Neverwinter. However, Sofina has bigger plans and is shown to be more evil and sinister, so she ends up being the actual main antagonist.

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) is an excellent movie. It’s about everything I would’ve hoped for in a DND movie and more. It features an interesting and compelling story, likable characters, intense action scenes, and it's funny and emotional. It also has some really nice call backs and elements from the game that I think will satisfy fans (some I recognized and some others I may not have caught). Chris Pine and Michelle Rodriguez really nailed the leading roles, and Hugh Grant plays a great villain that you'd love to hate and whom you want to see get what's coming to him in the end. Daisy Head also plays a very interesting and sadistic villainess who means business. There's nothing I would've changed about this movie, and I'd even call it an instant classic. I highly recommend this one, especially if you’re a DND fan. But even if you're not a DND fan, it's still a great movie in general.

(Personally speaking, this is a real upgrade from that 2000 DND movie trainwreck that I previously reviewed on here.)

I give Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) a solid 10/10.

So, have you seen Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)? Did you like it? Did you not like it? Let me know in the comments.

You can check out my video review on YouTube:

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As I post this, Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is currently streaming on Amazon Prime, MGM+ and Paramount+.

Dungeons & Dragons (2000) Movie Review

Disclaimer: This review is a bit of a rant because of how bad the movie is and contains a couple of spoilers regarding the third act.

Dungeons & Dragons (2000) is a medieval fantasy adventure flick from New Line Cinema that's based on the Role-playing board game of the same name, and stars Marlon Wayans and Jeremy Irons. It's set in the fictional kingdom of Izmir and follows our protagonist Ridley (Justin Whalin) and his friend Snails (Marlon Wayans), who are a couple of thieves who attempt to sneak into the magic school to rob the valuables. Meanwhile, Savina (Thora Birch), the young Empress who rules over Izmir with a scepter that controls dragons, is in conflict with the council of mages, led by the main antagonist Profion (Jeremy Irons). Profion has a lust for power and sets out to gain the power of an immortal and the power to control dragons, so that he can overthrow Savina and take over the kingdom.  He does this with the help of his henchman Damodar (Bruce Payne), whom he threatens to kill if he fails him. 

As Ridley and Snails hijack the magic school, they get caught by Marina (Zoe McLellen), a mage in training. Marina intends to turn the two in, but then the magic school gets ambushed by Damodar and his men in search of an ancient scroll that would lead to the dragon's eye and a magic rod called the Rod of Savrille, to give to Profion. After this, Ridley, Snails and Marina escape with the scroll as fugitives and are left with no choice but to become allies. With the scroll, the three embark on a quest to find the rod and the Dragon's eye before Damodar does, while Savina, confronted by the council, tries to find a way to stop Profion and save the kingdom. That's basically the plot in a nutshell. 

I watched this movie for the first time a year ago, and I have to say this movie is pretty awful. I watched it again this year, and it's about as bad as I remember. In fact, this is one of the worst big budget blockbusters I've seen in my life. It's got a very weak storyline, terrible acting, really bad special effects, really corny dialogue and cheap looking production value. I'm baffled by the fact that the budget is $45 million. A 13-year-old could film a better movie in their back yard for less than $1,000.

There's no character development whatsoever. You know literally nothing about the main characters, and by the end, they haven't even really changed during their journey. Ridley, Snails, and Marina are just blank slates. No backstory, nothing. The elf girl Norda (Kristan Wilson) kind of serves as a love interest to Snails, but they're dynamic goes nowhere. 

There are times where it tried to be funny, but the comedy just doesn't work. The storyline is generic, and besides the whole conflict involving Savina and Profion, there's really not much of a plot. It's mostly just our main characters going from point A to point B, and really nothing exciting happens. Also, the action/fighting scenes are horribly (and almost laughably) cheesy.

****SPOILERS AHEAD****

An hour into the movie, they kill off one of the main characters out of the blue. And of all the main characters, it's Marlon Wayans' character (Is Hollywood racist or what?). Also, the way Marlon Wayans dies is kind of funny. He gets stabbed, and then is thrown out the castle window, like in that scene from Braveheart (As I post this, I haven't seen Braveheart all the way through, but I'm familiar with that scene because Family Guy recently parodied it). In the climactic battle, Ridley fights Damodar and kills him, by knocking him off the castle tower, and destroys Profion's scepter, losing control of the dragons. During this, Savina tells Profion that it's over, in which Profion says this cheesy/corny line (which made me chuckle because of the cheesiness) "The battle, maybe...but not THE WAR!!!" 

And then, he gets eaten by one of the dragons (kind of like Lord Farquaad in Shrek). Then, in the end, after balance is restored, Ridley and the others pay their respects at Snail grave, with a stone on top with his name carved on it, and Ridley puts a glowing red stone on the grave. Then, the carving disappears into the red stone and then the party members glow up and disappear, and that's the end of the movie. Like, what the heck just happened? This movie makes no sense. Also, I'd like to comment that during the opening sequence, we see water and foggy clouds with an opening narration, but no title screen. Like, the way the sequence it's set up, it looks like there was supposed to be opening titles, but I guess they forgot to put them on there. Weird.

****END OF SPOILERS****

Anyway, that's Dungeons & Dragons (2000). It's awful, I hated it, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I found no redeeming qualities here, whatsoever. Perhaps to name a couple positives, it plays out like a typical D&D campaign, and Irons, despite his ham fisted acting, was at least entertaining in his over-the-top villain role. Those aren't really enough to save it though. I guess in conclusion, Dungeons & Dragons (2000) is one of the worst pieces of actual garbage you could possibly waste your time and money on. You can watch it if you want to, but you'd be rolling with a disadvantage on this one. (For the record, Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023), released 23 years later, is a far better movie.)

I give Dungeons & Dragons (2000) a 1/10.

So, have you seen the cinematic dumpster fire that is Dungeons & Dragons (2000)? What did you think? Let me know in the comments.

You check out my video review on YouTube:

If you enjoy my posts, you can follow my blog and check out (as well as subscribe to) my YouTube channel.

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As I post this, Dungeons & Dragons (2000) is currently on YouTube free with ads (just for those with the morbid curiosity to see for themselves just how bad it is).

Sling Blade (1996) Movie Review

Sling Blade (1996) is an independent drama film that is written and directed by, as well as starring, Billy Bob Thornton. It also stars Dwight Yoakam, John Ritter, Natalie Canerday, James Hampton, Robert Duvall and a young Lucas Black, in supporting roles. It's basically a feel-good dramedy with dark, twisted and disturbing subject matter. The film is based on the 1994 short film "Some Folks Call it a Sling Blade", in which Thornton himself also wrote the script and starred in the leading role (you can watch the original short on YouTube).

The movie follows our protagonist Karl Childers (Billy Bob Thornton). Karl is a mentally challenged man who has been abused from childhood and has been in a mental hospital for 20+ years after an incident in which he murdered his mother with a sling blade (hence the film's title), after witnessing her having an affair with his father's boss' son. Karl also speaks in a mangled accent and has an unusual diet consisting primarily of french fries and biscuits (albeit with mustard), and he rarely sleeps. After 20+ years, Karl is released from the mental hospital as he's been deemed well and decides he has no reason to kill anyone. He settles back in his hometown of Benton, Arkansas, where he lands a job at a lawnmower shop and befriends a 12-year-old boy named Frank Wheately (Lucas Black). 

Frank looks up to Karl as a father figure as the two develop a strong bond, have deep conversations and are even seen playing football together with some of Frank's friends from school. Frank initially lies to Karl that his father was runover by a train, but later admits the truth that it was suicide. Frank also lives with his widowed mother Linda Wheately (Natalie Canerday). Linda works at a local convenient store with her friend and manager Vaughan (John Ritter) and is currently dating a construction worker named Doyle Hargraves (Dwight Yoakam). 

Doyle is not a very nice guy. In fact, he's very mean, as well as drunk and abusive towards Linda and Frank and makes fun of Karl for being retarded.  He appears to be an aspiring musician and has a group of friends whom he jams with, and together they try to write songs. However, Doyle is mean, abusive and antagonistic even towards his musician friends and even goes as far as to abuse a handicapped person on a wheelchair. He's basically the villain of the movie as well as the main antagonist. Vaughan is a closeted, and later openly, gay man who sees Doyle for the monster he is and whom Doyle bullies for being gay. So, after Karl has stayed with the Wheatley's for a while, witnessing Doyle's actions and speaking with Vaughan, he comes up with a plan to save Linda and Frank's lives. You won't want to know about it here, but let's just say that Karl "realizes what needs to be done". That's about the best way some up the movie without spoiling anything. 

I watched Sling Blade (1996) for the first time earlier this year after tracking down the DVD on Ebay, since it hasn't been available anywhere digitally (although it's recently been made available on a small streaming site called Red Coral Universe). I've seen Sling Blade (1996) about three times now and I have to say it's an excellent and very well-done film. It's got great acting, great directing and great writing as well as a very compelling story and compelling characters. It also has great cinematography and production value, considering that this was a small independent film made on a small budget of $1 million. Billy Bob Thornton did a great job writing and directing and he really nailed the leading role.  Dwight Yoakam also did a great job playing a villain whom you'd want to hate with all your heart. This movie strikes me as one of those unique films, as I don't think there's been a movie like it before or even since. There's nothing I would've changed about Sling Blade (1996) and I'd even go as far as to calling it a cinematic masterpiece.

I give Sling Blade (1996) a solid 10/10.

So, have you seen Sling Blade (1996)? What did you think? Did you like it? Did you not like it? Did you think it was okay? Let me know in the comments.

You can check out my video review on YouTube:

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As I post this, Sling Blade (1996) is currently streaming exclusively on Red Coral Universe.

Alien: Romulus (2024) Movie Review

Disclaimer: This review is based on my memory of seeing the movie in theaters. 

Alien Romulus (2024) is a sci-fi horror flick that acts as a stand-alone sequel to the original Alien (1979) and is set before the events of the second film Aliens (1986). 

It follows our protagonist Rain Carradine (Cailee Spaeny), an orphan girl who lives and works with her adoptive cyborg brother Andy (David Jonsson) at the space colony called Jackson's Star. Rain's contract with the colony gets extended against her will, leaving her no choice but to join her ex-boyfriend Tyler (Archie Renaux) and his friends and relatives to travel to an abandoned spacecraft to retrieve cryo chambers in the hopes to escape to the planet Yvaga. However, there's a threatening alien life form that made its way aboard the ship, terrorizing the crew and is killing the members one by one, while the remaining members are fighting to survive and to kill the Alien. That's about the gist of the plot really. 

I saw this movie in theaters this past Sunday and I thought it was a decent movie. It's pretty well directed and well-acted and has some pretty intense scares and action scenes. However, I don't think it was that great to deserve its certified fresh score on Rotten Tomatoes. I felt it dragged a bit, especially during the first half. The movie mostly felt like a carbon remake of the first Alien movie. The characters were pretty forgettable. I couldn't even remember any of the characters' names except for maybe Andy, probably because he was the most interesting character. He was kind of like a villain but also had redeeming qualities, so that was interesting. I thought the third act was awesome and I felt that was where the movie really found its footing. All in all, I think Alien Romulus (2024) was good but not great. I think it's inferior to the first two Alien movies, Alien and Aliens. I can't say the same about the rest of the series. 

Alien 3 (1992) was okay, but the beginning and ending were both a bit of a letdown. Alien Resurrection (1997) was pretty bad if I recall. I kind of liked Prometheus (2012) and Alien Covenant (2017), but it's been a while so I may have to rewatch those. Anyway, that's about all I have to say about Alien Romulus. 

I give Alien Romulus (2024) a solid 7/10. 

So, have you seen Alien Romulus (2024)? Did you like it? Did you not like it? Did you think it was okay? Let me know in the comments. 

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As I post this, Alien Romulus is currently playing exclusively in movie theaters.

Max Keeble’s Big Move (2001) Movie Review

Disclaimer: The following review is based on notes I wrote for my video review after rewatching this movie back in December of 2023, with the notes being slightly revised.

Okay, this is a movie that I need to talk about. I've been holding back my opinion on this one for so long. 

Max Keeble's Big Move (2001) is a family comedy that's produced by Walt Disney Pictures and directed by Tim Hill. It follows our titular protagonist Max Keeble (Alex D. Linz), a part-time paperboy who is just starting junior high school. He's basically surviving his first week of junior high while facing bully problems. He also learns that he and his family are moving to Chicago in a week after his dad gets a big promotion, so he uses this to his advantage to exact revenge on the bullies who picked on him and his friends. Then, after causing all kinds of mischief, he learns that he's not moving and has to face the consequences of his actions. That's the plot in a nutshell.

We've got a set of different characters:

There's the protagonist Max Keeble, who I've already mentioned. We've got Max's two quirky best friends: Robe (Josh Peck), who wears a bath robe to school, and Megan (Zena Grey), the dorky redhead, who is bandmates and besties with Max, but we later learn that she has actual feelings for him. There are also Max's parents: Don Keeble (Robert Carradine), who works in the marketing industry and is paid to wear over the top costumes, and Lily Keeble (Nora Dunn), who's a typical stay at home mom.

We've got our bullies: There's Troy (Noel Fisher), who has an actual connection with the protagonist, as he previously showed up at Max's birthday party and was left traumatized after seeing a creepy-looking singing Frog puppet on the TV. Then there's Dobbs (Orlando Brown), who's obsessed with the stock market, and he pulls this investment scam on the kids to get a hold of their lunch money. 

There's Jenna (Brooke Anne Smith), the hot blonde that Max has his eyes set on throughout the movie, but we learn that she's really shallow and has been taking advantage of him from the start. 

Now we've got our set of villains: There's the Evil Ice Cream Man (Jamie Kennedy), and yes, he's called the "Evil Ice Cream Man". His deal is that he has a beef with Max after a health complaint from the latter's mom over a bug on his snow cone. This makes the two archrivals. Then there's our main antagonist Principal Jindraike (Larry Miller), who is the greedy money hungry school principal who comes out with a football program to impress the school superintendent, who is also a former football star. He plans to demolish the nearby animal shelter to make way for a new football stadium, and we also learn that he's using much of the school's budget to fund this project. Max and his friends, after finding this out, set out to stop the greedy principal and save the school and the animal shelter. 

That's basically the gist of the whole movie without giving too much away.

This movie was torn apart by the critics and bombed at the box office (making only $18 million against its $25 million budget). But over time, it's found its audience and has gotten a bit of a cult following, partly thanks to Disney Channel airings. Come to think of it, this straight up feels like a Disney Channel movie, from the writing to the directing to the production value. Maybe, this was initially going to be a Disney Channel original, but then Disney decided at the last minute to release it in theaters because they figured "Why the heck not?". At least that's my theory.

I saw this movie in theaters when it came out as a kid, and again on TV and I remember liking it. I watched it just recently as an adult on Disney+ and I'd say it's an okay movie. It's not bad but it's not particularly good either. The movie is entertaining but it's kind of stupid, the plot is pretty ridiculous and it's a bit silly at times. There are some parts that are genuinely funny, but there are also some parts that tried to be funny but didn't quite land. I also felt it had some clever ideas but didn't know what to do with them half the time. The directing and acting are decent at least, and I think Larry Miller absolutely stole the show as the greedy Principal. I'd say this movie is average. I think it's a passably okay way to waste an hour and a half. 

I'm going to give Max Keeble's Big Move (2001) a solid 6/10, which is being generous. 

So, have you seen Max Keeble's Big Move (2001)? What did you think? Did you like it? Did you not like it? Would you consider it a classic or would you say it's not worth it? Let me know in the comments.

You can check out my video review on YouTube:

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As I post this, Max Keeble's Big Move (2001) is currently streaming on Disney+